TEDxHouston and Me: The Tale Of An Aspiring Dreamer

Jun 15, 2010 by Brigitte B. Zabak

The day was Saturday, June 12, 2010. As I’m sure you can imagine, Houston was as hot and humid as ever and I was awake before noon on a weekend – on purpose.

There’s not much I choose to get up early for these days, but the anticipation of a day filled with ideas and inspiration was enough to get this aspiring dreamer out of her pjs and into Saturday morning traffic without much fussing. On a side note:  fried eggs and any sort of waffle/pancake/french toast concoction also gets me outta bed earlier than normal – just in case you were looking for suggestions on ways to lure me away from my pillow on any given day.

Thanks to the awesome team over at Culture Pilot and loads of other inspiring local leaders, Houston is now one of  a handful of cities that had the overwhelming privilege of hosting a successful  TEDx event. Words cannot express how lucky I feel to have been chosen to be a part of this experience. Someone out in the Universe must have known how much I needed to hear these talks.

My Tale

I’m pretty sure I found out about TEDxHouston through Twitter and I can’t tell you how many times I stared blankly at the application, my brow covered in the kind of sweat brought on by self doubt, and wrestled with my words.  This city means a lot to me. It’s my home and it always has been – especially when my family’s native homeland has been under occupation for so long. I’ve had my issues with Houston, but as time forces me onward towards adulthood I have found a love for my hometown in ways I never thought possible. That’s the thing about Houston – it creeps up on ya. You never see it coming, but once it finds you…don’t bother trying to fight it.

Needless to say, I applied to be an audience member at TEDx and proceeded to wait impatiently for a response.  In the period between applying for the event and receiving confirmation of my acceptance, I started my journey into dreaming BIG with an online course at Mondo Beyondo. I’ve spent the last month really exploring what I want to do to make big changes for me and for my community. I was hoping my time at TEDx would help clarify some unanswered questions.

To be honest, I’m pretty sure I walked away from TEDx with more questions than answers.  I learned how transformational doing more with less can be. I was given permission to say these three little words “I Don’t Know” and still consider infinite possibilities. I learned that getting your point across doesn’t have to be articulated through conventional means.  Most importantly, for me at least, I learned that in choosing to stay numb from the yucky feelings that accompany vulnerability, failure and hurt, I’ve also completely closed myself off to the good that can come from taking risks. In closing myself off from the scary monster, I’ve been losing out on the transformational side.

And, despite all that learnin’, I still walked away from the University of Houston campus questioning everything! I still don’t know where I fit, or how to stop being so socially awkward and anxious. I still haven’t found my “tribe” and I still suck at math (not that I thought TEDx would cure my inability to add without using my fingers). But, the hours long pow-wow of ideas did show me that my desire to create change, to help and to be a good person hasn’t wavered. I may not yet know how I’m going to be a bite-sized superheroine, but my willingness and dedication to the greater good is stronger than ever.

On another side note:  Underneath our names on our badges were three words that I guess stood out most from our respective applications. These were my three words:

COMMUNITY

SOCIAL

WRITING

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